


Dean's vessel

by Lomeniel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Embarrassment, F/M, POV First Person, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 01:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17152964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lomeniel/pseuds/Lomeniel
Summary: A witch manages to stun Dean with a spell during a hunt, which leads to a slightly uncomfortable situation for our brave reader.





	Dean's vessel

“I can’t believe he hasn’t caught on yet,” Sam whispered in my ear as he opened the trunk to retrieve our weapons.  
“Shut up!” I hissed, yanking the shotgun from his hands.  
“I mean, the way you’re ogling him, you might as well throw yourself at his feet,” he continued, smiling mischievously.  
“SHUT. UP!”  
“What are you girls gossiping about?” Dean asked, slamming the front door shut and winking at me.  
“Nothing!” I answered, probably a bit too fast. He arched his eyebrows, giving me a look that clearly stated: “You’re acting very suspicious,” but he didn’t press it further. Instead, he made his way down the road to the witch’s hideout.   
“You could just tell him, you know,” Sam added when Dean was far enough to not hear us. “It’s obvious to practically the whole world you like him, Y/N, even though he’s partially blind.”  
“Not now,” I replied with a frown. Yeah, I liked him. Hell, I would even go so far as to say I loved him, but I had no plans to tell him. Every girl he brought back to the motels while we were on the road was a painful reminder that he wasn’t looking for someone like me.  
Sam put his hand on my arm. “Hey,” he said softly, “I didn’t mean to… You know he’d never turn you down, right?”  
“Yeah right, Sam. You don’t have to try: I’ve seen the women he goes after. They’re diamonds; I’m rubble.” I held up my hand to stop him from answering. “Drop it. We both know it’s true. Let’s just finish this witch, so I can go get drunk!” I didn’t know why I suddenly felt so irritated with Sam. He’d teased me ever since he found out about a month ago. He’d caught me staring, and me having a weak moment, admitted everything. He didn’t know how deep it went, though. That much I’d managed to conceal.  
Maybe it was the lady Dean had brought back to the motel the night before. She was practically perfect; gorgeous, shiny hair and eyes that had that glimmer. Her waist was slender, and her boobs huge, and she giggled at everything he said. I forced myself to swallow the bile in my throat when I saw them together; counting myself lucky I had my own room so I didn’t have to listen to their activities. Either way, I was a walking thundercloud, yearning to kill something to get the anger out of my chest.

 

The witch threw me backwards through the door, knocking me into a coat rack. A pile of frocks and jackets came tumbling down over my head, and I spent a few minutes trying to untangle myself from the clothes. It wasn’t that long, but it was long enough that something went wrong. I heard a bang and a harrowing scream, cursing and a thump from something – or someone – heavy hitting the floor.  
I groaned as I heaved myself to my feet, the impact had given me a nasty bruise on my hip and a cut on my shoulder. Already, I could feel the sticky, warm blood seeping through my shirt.   
Limping back to the living room, I entered just in time to watch Sam put a bullet in the witch’s heart, blood splattering everywhere. Scanning the room, I searched for his brother, and found him lying still on the floor.  
“Dean!” I sprinted over to his lifeless body, ignoring the screaming pain from my injured leg, my bleeding shoulder all forgotten. Sinking to my knees, my hand trembled as I reached out to check if he was alive. His pulse was steady, and I sighed gratefully. At least he wasn’t dead. Allowing myself a moment of intimacy, I let my hand caress his cheek, but the instant I touched his face, a lightning shocked my body, sending me hurtling backwards once more.

I shook my head as I came to my senses again. The second flight had left me confused and quite light-headed. My nose felt singed, and my heart thumped fast. Something buzzed in my ears, but I ignored it, staggering over to Dean’s body, feeling heavier than usual.  
“You ok?” Sam asked, putting his hand on my shoulder to support me as I kneeled by his brother again. He looked shaken, but calmer than he had a couple of seconds ago, so I assumed he’d been able to examine Dean too, and by the look of it, he hadn’t been thrown anywhere.  
“Yeah. What was that, though?” I replied, tentatively reaching out to touch Dean with my finger, preparing myself for another shock, but nothing happened.  
“I don’t know,” Sam said with a shrug. “This isn’t natural, though. He’s breathing, and he looks unharmed. Why won’t he wake up?” My eyes brimmed over unintentionally. Dean was unconscious, my head hurt, and I felt like a train had run me over, then backed up to run me over again.  
“Hey, Y/N, don’t worry. We’ll fix this,” Sam said, smiling tentatively, although I could see he was worried too. “We’ll call Cas when we get back to the motel. Come on. Help me carry my stupid brother back to the car.”  
I sniffed and dried my face. Sam motioned for me to grab Dean’s legs, and together we hauled him out of the front door and back to the Impala. Luckily, it was a foggy night. I don’t think anyone would have seen us if they had looked out of their windows.

The short drive back to the dingy motel was silent. Sam kept his eyes fixed on the road, his jaw clenched and unclenched. I couldn’t help but shooting brief glances at Dean in the backseat. It simply looked like he was sleeping, but I knew that wasn’t the case. He was too still; his breathing was too even, no muttering, no snoring. 

We carefully laid him down on the sofa, and I sat down beside him as Sam prayed to Cas. “Dean, please wake up,” I whispered, holding his hand in mine and willing him to open his eyes. Nothing happened, of course. He looked so serene, and I found myself admiring his calm face. The line of his jaw, his cheekbones, the soft curve of his oh-so-kissable lips. I sighed, fighting the urge to rest my head on his chest.  
“Hello,” Cas said a couple of minutes later. “I came as fast as I could. What happened?” Sam explained what had happened when I was covered in jackets, and the angel frowned from the story.  
“So the witch managed to curse Dean. Did you catch her spell?”  
“Not all of it,” Sam answered silently. “She was too fast. But I think she muttered eumque partiri and is quem amas. I know; it doesn’t make any sense.”  
Castiel closed his eyes. “This will take some time – I have to claim a few favours, I think, but we’ll fix Dean, Sam. I promise.”  
“Fine. Do whatever you need. We’ll stay here.”  
“Goodbye, Sam. Y/N,” he said and poofed out of the room.  
“What now?” I asked, keeping my eyes focused on Sam to keep from crying again.  
“We wait, I guess,” he answered with a shrug, rising from his seat. “I’m gonna buy us some dinner from the diner down the road. Get cleaned up, Y/N. Looks like your shoulder needs some tlc.”  
I shrugged, not wanting to leave Dean, but my shoulder suddenly throbbed violently, and I winced from the pain. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom, pulling off my shirt to survey the damage. It was just a medium cut, already almost closed, thankfully there was no need for stitches, but I needed to clean the wound so that it wouldn’t get infected.  
Stripping down, I climbed in the shower, letting hot water wash away every speck of dirt from my body. Halfway through, I got a strong feeling someone was watching me. “Sam?” I said hesitantly, peeking out from behind the curtain. There was no one there.   
“Y/N?” Dean’s voice echoed through my mind, sounding far away and confused.  
“Dean?” I quickly dried myself off with a towel and pulled on one of Sam’s huge shirts. Not bothering with jeans, I ran out into the bedroom, expecting Dean to be awake, but he was still out cold. “Dean,” I whispered again, inching closer. “Can you hear me?”  
“Yes…” His voice rang faintly through the room. “I’m… see you…” It was like listening to an untuned radio, and it was freaking me out. When Sam came back a few minutes later, he found me sitting rigidly on the floor by Dean’s bed, staring at nothing.  
“Hey, Y/N. You ok?” he asked, shaking my shoulder.  
“Hm?” I said, letting him drag me out of my thoughts. “Sam! I don’t know! I may be going crazy!”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“I think I can hear Dean’s voice inside my head. It’s like he’s talking to me through a wall, and the wall is becoming thinner and thinner.”  
“Did you hit your head that hard?” Sam said, helping me to my feet, and almost carrying me over to his bed.  
“No. I don’t know. It feels like he’s inside my head, Sam. And it’s terrifying!”  
He put an arm around my shoulder, careful to avoid the cut, and pulled me closer. “Shh…”  
“Y/N,” Dean said, clearer than before. “Don’t be afraid.”  
I flinched, looking up at Sam, hoping he’d heard the voice too. He saw the question in my eyes and shook his head slowly. “Cas,” he said quietly. “Cas, buddy, we need you again.”  
The angel appeared in front of us, looking startled by the fear in my face. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” he said, reaching out for me, but he yelped and jumped backwards when his fingers touched my cheek. His eyes widened with realisation.  
“What is it, Cas?” I muttered, sweat starting to pearl on my neck. What could possibly be so bad it made the angel jump from a single touch? “I’m going crazy, aren’t I?”  
“Y/N,” he repeated, looking between Sam and me, “you’ve become a vessel.”  
“A what?”  
“A vessel. Dean’s vessel, in fact. Looks like the witch’s spell ripped Dean’s soul from his body, and he’s now taken up residency inside you. Temporarily,” he added, seeing the panic in my face. “I think I know what must be done to transport him back to his own body, but I need to make sure it won’t hurt you in the process.”  
Sam squeezed my shoulder, and I felt very lucky I was already sitting down. I felt ill. My head was spinning, but everything made sense now. The sensation of being cramped inside my mind, the headache, the voice… But, I realised with a jolt, that with Dean inside my brain, he could probably hear everything I was thinking.  
Castiel seemed to understand my thoughts. “Listen, Y/N. Dean has yet to become fully aware inside you. There are ways to conceal thoughts and memories you don’t want him to see.” Looking into my eyes, he exuded confidence and compassion, and slowly it rubbed off on me. “The easiest way is to erect walls around the thoughts, make them tall and thick. That way, he won’t be able to access them.” He gave me an encouraging smile before vanishing again.  
I did as Castiel told me, imagining tall brick walls surrounding my mind, willing them to be strong and secure. As the last wall went up, I heard Dean’s familiar voice as clear as day inside my head. “What the hell? Where am I?”  
“You’re inside me,” I thought, hoping he could hear it. Having to answer him out loud would be too weird.  
“Hey… Awesome!” he answered, and somehow, I could hear him smirking. He was studying the mental walls with interest, poking at one of them. It tickled.  
“Watch it, Winchester. No perving around.”  
“Got it,” he replied, keeping his hands to himself, but he was still smirking. I knew he was wandering around inside my brain, watching, listening, taking in everything I had forgotten to hide.  
“Hey, hey, hey! Leave that alone!” I yelled when he found a memory of an old boyfriend I hadn’t thought of in years. His silent, but all-too-telling reaction made me go scarlet.  
“He’s there, isn’t he?” Sam asked in response to my sudden colour change.  
“Yeah. He says hi, by the way.”  
“This is freaky.”  
“Tell me about it. At least the headache is fading.”  
“Good to hear.” Sam nodded and my stomach growled. “You hungry, Y/N?”  
“Oh, yes!” I clapped my hands together. The mere thought of food had my mouth watering. “Hope you got something good!”  
“Of course,” Sam replied with a grin, and handed me a hot styrofoam box.  
“Mmm…” The smell from the cheeseburger and fries was delicious, and I took a large bite, savouring the juicy meat and melted cheese. Inside my head, I felt Dean become antsy. My hunger affected him as well.  
“That’s not fair,” he pouted. “Watching you eat it isn’t nearly the same…” His expression changed a bit as I licked my fingers. “It’s not that bad, actually,” he smirked.  
I dropped the burger and wiped my hand on a napkin. “Stop it, Dean!”  
“My idiot brother giving you a hard time?” Sam asked, looking up from his own dinner, and I nodded vigorously. “Well,” he said, with an evil smile. “Dean. If you don’t behave, I won’t let her have a slice of the blueberry pie I bought for dessert.”  
I heard the oldest Winchester gasp, and I burst out laughing. “Well done, Sam. He’s proper as an alter boy now.”

Sam yawned widely. “I’m gonna hit the sack. This has been a weird evening.”  
“Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea, Sam.” I stood from the bed, but suddenly, I felt afraid to be alone. “Uh, Sam? Would it be all right if I slept in here? I don’t want to be on my own.”   
“Sure,” he said. “You can sleep on Dean’s bed. It’s not like he’s using it right now anyway.”  
“Thanks.”  
“You’re not alone,” Dean protested in my head. “And I’m not tired, by the way.”  
“Shut up,” I answered crossly. “I’m going to bed and that’s final. Don’t you dare keep me awake!”  
“Is he giving you trouble again?” Sam chuckled.  
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I said with a smile, leaving to retrieve my stuff.

As I brushed my teeth, a thought occurred to me. “Hey, Dean, can you see everything I see?”  
“Yeah, pretty much, why?”  
“Crap. How about closing your eyes and not watching?” I felt him scrunching his eyes shut, then sighing and shaking his head.  
“Sorry, sweetheart. Still see everything you do. Feel it too, as a matter of fact.”  
“Really?” I whined. “Fuck! I hope Cas finds a solution fast.”  
“What? Why? Don’t you like having me here?”  
I shrugged, but a tiny smile crept over my lips. “Well, kinda, but I like my privacy too.”  
“Well,” he said, snickering from my shyness, “you just have to live with it. If it’s any consolation, it’s just as awkward for me as it is for you.”  
I nodded to the mirror, dragging a hand over my eyes.  
Dean stiffened. “Like now… the urge to pee is just as strong in my mind as in yours. You better get over your modesty, honey. Or else you’re in for a very uncomfortable time.”  
“Yeah,” I said, cringing at the thought. 

“That was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced,” I whined as I exited the bathroom.   
“What?” Sam said, looking up from his book.  
“I had to pee while Dean was watching,” I said in disgust.  
“Hey, it’s not like I did this on purpose,” Dean interjected.  
“I know, I know, but still.”  
Sam laughed. “Oh, I feel so sorry for you, Y/N. But at least…” I shot him a nasty glance, shielding the reason from Dean. “Uh… I mean…” He searched for a suitable ending to the sentence he’d begun. “At least we know where he is, and that he’s safe.” Sam’s eyes softened a bit. “Thank you for taking care of my brother.”  
“Jeez! What’s with the chick-flick moment?” Dean groaned.  
“Deal with it,” I retorted. “Night, Sam.”  
“Sweet dreams.” Sam put his book down and switched off the light.  
“Good night, Dean.”  
“You know, we could have some fun…” Dean began suggestively.  
“Good night, Dean!”  
“Sleep well, Y/N.”

It took me a couple of minutes to realise what was happening when I woke up. The previous evening slowly returned to me as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed. For once, my tenant was quiet, but I could still feel his presence, and I adjusted Sam’s shirt before Dean noticed it had ridden up during the night.  
Grabbing my duffel, I dragged my sorry ass to the bathroom to freshen up. Pulling down the shirt from my shoulder, I began peeling off the old bandage. The cut burned as I cleaned the wound, but I bit my lip to keep from groaning.   
“Dude! That really hurts!”   
I dropped my washcloth and whipped my head around. Of course, I was alone. Well, not entirely.   
“Christ, Dean. You spooked me. This is so wrong!” I told him, shaking my head as I picked up the cloth again and dabbed it on my wound.  
“Sorry,” he said sincerely. “But it felt wrong, well, wrong-er to watch you naked without you knowing I was here.” His soul light up with a naughty shine, I could practically sense him wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
“How could I not know you were here?” I tapped the side of my head. “I can feel you inside me, you know, even when you’re not speaking.”   
Wrong wording, Y/N. So wrong! Dean snickered. “Is it as good for you as it is for me?”  
“Shut it, Winchester,” I growled. It was way too early for me to deal with this shit, not to mention the embarrassment. “You know what I mean.” Still, some small part of me enjoyed the experience. It was one of utmost intimacy, and it made my insides squirm.  
“But you can’t deny it’s a nice feeling.”  
“No, it’s not,” I lied. “It’s fucking exhausting, Dean. Keeping up all those mental walls, not to mention dealing with no privacy. At all!” I held up a small towel, debating with myself whether or not I should take a shower.  
“Oh, you should. You definitely should,” Dean breathed excitedly.  
I immediately dropped the towel. But then I realised I had to change my clothes. “Crap!”  
“What, sweetheart? Afraid I might like what I see?”  
Quite the opposite, actually, but I hid any reactions behind extra thick walls. “Just keep your eyes to yourself,” I hissed, moving quickly to get the whole ordeal over with.  
My eyes scanned my body, resting briefly on a thin scar running from the top of my ribs to my belly button. In my mind I cursed the line of work I was in, leaving marks on an otherwise perfectly ok body. I twisted my upper body to follow the scar all the way.  
“Whoa!” Dean’s eyes widened. “Nice abs, Y/N.”  
I groaned internally. “I told you to keep your eyes to yourself.”  
“Not that easy, sweetheart, and…” he teased. “Ooh… that feels nice.”   
I’d just slid a soft, new shirt over my head. And though I had to admit, the feeling was good, it didn’t warrant the lewd reaction from Dean.  
“Dean…” I said tiredly. “Stop it!” All dressed, I exited the bathroom, hoping Sam had breakfast ready.  
“But it did,” he protested, almost sounding innocent, but then came the comment that pushed me over the edge. “If putting on a shirt feels that good, how does it feel when you’re touching yourself, huh?”  
I face-palmed so hard in my mind I could’ve sworn I smacked Dean in the head. “I fucking swear, Dean, if you don’t stop that, I’m gonna take Sam right here, and make you watch every bit of it.”  
“You wouldn’t!”  
His slight panic sent a smile over my face. “Hey, Sammy,” I said in my most alluring voice, swinging my hips as I made my way over. Sam looked up, smiling widely when he saw me approach. Knowing me – and Dean – he probably understood what was going on, and took a few steps towards me.  
“Stop it! Stop it!” Dean yelled inside my head. “I won’t do it again.”  
“Good,” I said out loud, so that Sam could hear it too. “But now you know what will happen if you don’t behave.”

The rest of the day went by without any notable happenings. Dean stayed relatively civilised, and I could almost relax a bit. These two days had drained me of energy, and I was starting to lose control over my mental walls, so when Castiel came back with a bag full of supplies for the reversal spell, I did a small victory dance. They all laughed.   
“Good to see you’re ready and excited, Y/N,” Sam said.  
“Yeah. My brain wasn’t made to house two souls, and I can’t wait to be all alone!”   
“Even though -?”  
“Sam!” I said menacingly. “Watch it!”  
“Even though what?” Dean asked, poking at one of my walls, causing a small avalanche of rubble. “What is it you two are hiding from me?”  
“Keep your hands to yourself,” I scolded, refusing to answer his prying questions.  
“Sam. Would you help me assemble the spell?” Castiel held up the bag and motioned towards Dean’s body.  
“Sure.”   
As they busied themselves, my eyes wandered while I waited, coming to rest on Dean’s peaceful face, and I couldn’t help but stare just a few seconds too long, wondering what it would feel like, having his eyes gaze lovingly into mine, how his luscious lips would taste on my own, and how his sculpted body would feel under my fingers…  
“Whoa!” Dean sputtered, sounding annoyed and tired. “I’m still in here, you know.”  
I felt my stomach plummet from the tone of his voice, disappointment surging through my body as I contemplated what he’d actually meant. Although I tried, I couldn’t hide it completely; Dean suddenly felt very serious in my mind.  
“Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that, I was just taken by surprise. Although why I should be surprised, I have no idea. I mean, come on! If I were you, I’d look at me that way too.” He was trying to lighten the mood, but I had a hard time following what he was saying. All my protective walls and doors started crumbling, and I was frantically running around trying to strengthen them; to hide my thoughts and memories before Dean sensed them, and I dug myself even further down in the grave I was already standing in. He opened his mouth to speak again.  
“Don’t,” I warned him, hoping he’d understand. I really didn’t want to hear him explain how he was flattered, yes, but he didn’t return those feelings. Especially not while he was inside my head, and I would know that every word he spoke was true. It would completely squash my faint hope that someday, maybe, he’d grow to love me back.  
“But, Y/N, listen to me,” he began.  
“No, you listen to me, Dean Winchester,” I said out loud through clenched teeth, causing both Sam and Castiel to look up. My barriers unravelled completely, sending a flood wave over him, almost drowning him in the love I felt for him. ”Don’t you say anything. You don’t know what it’s like, watching you with those.... giggling women, fawning over you, knowing you could never feel the same for me. I know I will never be good enough for you, and if you tell me while inside my head, I think I will break. So please, Dean. Don’t say anything. Not yet!”   
When I had finished my rant, I took a deep breath, and ripped open the door to the adjoining room, slammed it behind me, and flung myself on the bed, as if that would leave Dean behind. Of course, he followed: I could feel him standing inside my head, staring and gaping at my sudden outburst. Just as he’d picked his jaw up from the ground and was about to speak, I blacked out.

When I woke up, the room was dark. My ears no longer buzzed; I was alone, and it felt like bliss. My mind was calm once more, and no longer felt cramped. I stretched and grinned, feeling like a million bucks. For about five seconds. “Oh, fuck!” I muttered, sliding out of the bed and knocking the back of my head on the wall. Dean had just spent two days in my brain, and I hadn’t been able to conceal anything from him. He knew everything. I wanted nothing more than for the darkness to consume me. Hell, I even considered running away, but for now, I settled for hiding under my blankets. Of all the people I could have been forced to share a body with, it had to be Dean Winchester. I could never look him in the eyes again.

There was a knock on my door, which I opted to ignore. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to face my shame just yet. Another knock, louder this time, followed by Sam’s intense whisper.  
“Dude! She just endured having you inside her head. She needs some time alone, and possibly a lobotomy to keep from going insane. Ow!”  
Judging from the sound, Dean had probably slapped his brother’s head. “Shut up!” he hissed, although his voice held no animosity. “Y/N? I’m coming in.”  
The door opened, letting in a thin ray of light. I peeked out from under the coarse fabric, and saw Dean close the door after himself, effectively enveloping the both of us in darkness again. There was a tiny click, then light flooded my room. I pulled the blanket back over my head.  
“I just want to talk to you,” he said, crossing the room and sitting down next to me on the floor. He removed the blanket, and I looked up into those gorgeous, green eyes. The butterflies in my belly fluttered about violently, throwing themselves against the walls of my stomach, breaking through and invading my lungs on their way. I sighed, both from sadness and love.   
”Listen to me, please,” Dean continued, squeezing my hand in his. “Spending time in your brain was weird and … interesting. Normally, I would try to joke this away, but knowing how strongly you feel for me –“  
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” I interrupted, forcing any emotion from my voice. “This is awkward enough already –“  
He put two fingers over my lips, effectively shutting me up. “Will you let me finish? What I want to say is that those feelings, that… love,” he said, slowly and silently, as if it pained him to say it, “is inside me too. Now I know beyond any doubt how devastating it is for you to be with without me, and I’m here to say that I won’t leave you.” His grip on my hand tightened.   
“You shouldn’t feel compelled to sacrifice yourself, to do this to protect me,” I answered meekly, shaking my hand loose and climbing up on the bed, folding my legs. “I mean, yes, I am in love with you, Dean, but I don’t want you to be with me because you feel sorry for me.”  
“Feel sorry fo – Y/N! Look at me!” He stood on his knees and turned my head so that we were facing each other. “I want you to see me as I say this, so that there is no doubt left in your mind: Y/N, I love you. From the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to be with anyone else, and you would make me the happiest on the planet if you would have me. And this is pure selfishness, sweetheart,” he finished with a cocky grin.  
“Oh…” My face probably resembled that of a gold fish; and Dean laughed. It was a deep, rumbling laugh that made me glad I was already sitting down. He carefully put his hand on my cheek, and leaned in. My breath hitched from his touch, and every hair on my body rose, as I understood what he was about to do.  
His lips were soft and urgent, and I let myself melt into his kiss. “What do you say?” he asked when we finally broke apart, out of breath and craving more.   
“Fine,” I said, half laughing. He sounded too uncertain for a guy who’d just spent the last few days inside my head, watching every thought I’d ever had about him. “But only because you’ve bribed me with your kiss.”  
“A small price to pay,” he smirked and pushed me down on the mattress, hovering over me with a playful gleam in his eyes

**Author's Note:**

> It is weird how just a tiny sentence can inspire a whole story: in this instance, it was “Y/N? I’m coming in.”


End file.
